Thriving Your Love
Blog & Podcast
Welcome to our blog and podcast page
On this page, you can find a variety of themes ranging from how you can connect to your partner and your children to how you can grow emotionally and overcome past traumatic experiences. The content is presented in different ways, such as video and audio podcast and blog. Choose the format you prefer and be rewarded with a content that will meet your needs. If you would like to have more knowledge about something important to you, let us know and we will try to talk about it.
Are you ready to thrive?
Three Ways We Can Help
01
Video Podcast
Watch Claudio and Tricia's Thriving Your Love Video podcast discussing relevant topics about your most important relationships.
02
Audio Podcast
Listen to Claudio and Tricia's Thriving Your Love Video podcast discussing relevant topics about your most important relationships.
03
Blog
Read our articles discussing relevant topics about your most important relationships.
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Belonging With
Your Partner
Do you believe you belong with your partner or sometimes feel like an outsider? Many partners don't feel desired by their partners and see themselves as inadequate or not good enough. This may affect their self-esteem because their perception of themselves is tightly connected to how they think their partners see them.
Jealousy
Jealousy is caused by fear of losing a significant attachment figure. It may be based on reality or in our imagination. When it's based on reality, it may help us guarantee that we don't lose a loved one. However, if it's in our imagination, we might cause relationship problems. Sometimes, the fear might push the other person away from us instead of bringing them closer.
Attachment and Affection
In this edition we talk about about how we show love through our body language. Our tone of voice, our touching, our eyes, and our gestures sometimes speak louder than the words we say. Turning to our loved one when they are talking to us and paying attention to them tells them that they are important to us.
How To Understand a Narcissist Partner
In this last episode of Understanding a Narcissist Partner, we focus on the need to feel important and the lack of awareness of the impact it can have on a partner. Narcissists need to feel important and valuable and one way they do it is by driving attention to themselves. Being the center makes them feel valued and admired by people around them. However, it can make their partners feel unseen and unimportant.
Narcissism & Vulnerability
In this video, we explain how narcissism and vulnerability cannot coexist. Narcissism involves a fear of being oneself and hiding behind a mask of self-confidence. The more we fear being seen, the less able we are to be vulnerable. We hide behind a mask of superiority for fear that people will not accept us for who we are.
How Couples Therapy
Can Help You
Do you need to decide if you should or should not have couples therapy? In this article, Tricia Kim Walsh, LMFT, talks about four reasons emotionally focused couples therapy (EFCT) can help you and your partner. She backs up with research that has proven the efficacy of EFCT.
Understanding Nrcissism
In this podcast, we aim to demystify narcissism disorder. Like other mental health illnesses such as borderline disorder and bipolar disorder, narcissism disorder has been looked upon with judgment and prejudice. We try to bring more understanding and acceptance to a problem that affects most of us to some degree.
Four Core Holiday Survival Tips For Couples
The holiday and winter seasons can be exceptional but also incredibly stressful. Look no further to those quick tips you and your partner need to feel connected and thriving in your love. I have compiled a helpful and comprehensive list of intimate ways to feel closer and connected to your partner during the holidays. I welcome your input if you have suggestions and insights.
Understanding Attachment
In this episode, we will give you a helpful overview of where love comes from parent to child and, as adults, partner to partner. This is the critical ingredient to Emotionally Focused Therapy. Our brain is designed for connection, and we seek proximity to others from the very moment we are born.
How to Give Comfort
In our desire to help our loved ones, we give them advice or solutions. We think that they expect us to fix their problems when they only want our presence amidst their pain. We would like our love to take all the pain away from our partner's life. However, that's not possible. Although we cannot take their pain away, we can be with them in times of distress. The worst thing is not suffering but suffering alone.
Vulnerable Conversations
In this episode, we show how couples can talk in a vulnerable way. The focus is not on describing the other person’s character but on speaking about one’s feelings. The injured partner tells the other about their hurt and their sadness. The other takes ownership of what they did in a vulnerable way and talks about their sadness for hurting their loved one. This kind of communication brings them closer thus helping them to heal from the attachment injury. It also helps them have the kind of relationship that will shield them from future injuries.
Affair Proofing Your Relationship
Affairs cause a great deal of shame for both partners. The partner who had the affair sees the pain they have caused their partner and they feel horrible about that. Since they were the ones who cheated, they see themselves as immoral and dishonest. Their partner's attack and criticism intensify their shame and cause them to react and become defensive. However, when they react, their partner thinks that they are not taking ownership of what they did and consequently attacks them even more. It becomes a vicious cycle that prevents partners from healing.
Healing from Affairs
Of all the problems a couple may face, affair is the worst. It’s no wonder that about half of the couples who go through an affair, end up in divorce. It is very common for therapists to help couples who are trying to heal from an affair. Affairs shake the foundation of the relationship and damage trust. They cause immense pain that may linger for a long time. It is very important that couples seek help to heal, reconnect and make their relationship stronger.
The Avoidant Partner's Worst Fear
In the last podcast, we talked about the worst of all fears which is losing the love of our attachment figure. In this podcast, we dive into how this fear shows up differently for those who avoid closeness. The fear of being criticized or having a fight causes avoidant partners to distance themselves to protect the relationship. Although they seem cold and distant, they are just afraid of making things worse and losing the person they love.
The Worst of All Fears
We continue talking about fear and how it plays out in adult relationships. Our worst fear is to lose the person whom we love the most. When we feel rejected or abandoned, we try everything we can to get reassurance from our partner that they are there for us. If we cannot get this reassurance, we feel desperate and we protest.
The Origins of Fear
Fear is a great survival mechanism that propels us to seek a connection to another human being who can help us feel safe. When our survival is threatened, our brain triggers a series of physiological reactions designed to prepare our body to face the perceived threat. The part of the brain that deals with fear is the same related to attachment which means that attachment is the antidote to fear.
How Shame Affects Relationships
Shame is one of the most challenging feelings because it affects our self-esteem and makes us want to hide. We develop shame in our childhood through our relationship with our attachment figures. When we cannot feel connected to them, we think that the problem is with us. Maybe we are unlovable and defective. We feel ashamed of who we are and our need to feel loved, connected, and important to our attachment figures.
Shame and Vulnerability
Shame is one of the most challenging feelings because it affects our self-esteem and makes us want to hide. We develop shame in our childhood through our relationship with our attachment figures. When we cannot feel connected to them, we think that the problem is with us. Maybe we are unlovable and defective. We feel ashamed of who we are and our need to feel loved, connected, and important to our attachment figures.
Attachment Injuries
Attachment injuries occur when the injured person cannot trust the other to be there for them anymore. When they talk about the injury, the one who has hurt the other justifies their action and minimizes the other person's feelings. The one who felt hurt might also focus on attacking the other instead of communicating the hurt from a point of vulnerability. Every time they talk about the problem, the victim feels injured again and the hurt grows thus creating more disconnection and resentment.
Tuning Into Your Emotions
Couples become disconnected when they do not share what they feel. They might not be in touch with their emotions or be afraid of expressing them. Many times they act upon their emotions instead of making them clear. In this video podcast, we talk about the importance of being vulnerable. When we reveal our emotions to each other in a vulnerable way, we bring our partner closer and we feel more connected.
The Meaning You Make
When couples cannot get along, they come up with explanations for their distress. They tell themselves stories about themselves, their partners and the relationship. They might say that they did not have enough time to know each other, they are too different, or they are beyond repair. They build negative cases against each other to understand why they are so disconnected. These stories fuel their disconnection and cause more suffering.
The Meaning You Make
When couples cannot get along, they come up with explanations for their distress. They tell themselves stories about themselves, their partners and the relationship. They might say that they did not have enough time to know each other, they are too different, or they are beyond repair. They build negative cases against each other to understand why they are so disconnected. These stories fuel their disconnection and cause more suffering.
The Negative Cycle
Couples in distress get into a negative cycle that keeps them trapped. Despite their best intentions to find a solution to their cycle, every time they try it, they end up getting back into it. It’s sad when all they want is to improve their relationship, but their efforts just make it worse. The pursuer feels disconnected from the withdrawer and points out the problem. The withdrawer says there is no problem when the disconnection seems so obvious to the pursuer. The pursuer feels dismissed and ignored and becomes louder to get the attention of the withdrawer who feels attacked and shuts down. The withdrawer may also get mad and explode. As they keep on fighting for their relationship, they feel increasingly hopeless.
The Importance of Relationships
Human beings are social by nature. Our brain is designed for connection, and from birth, we seek proximity to others. Connection with a loved one makes us feel solid and secure. Our brain works optimally, and we become curious and creative. We are more courageous, and the challenges of life seem less threatening. Like children who explore the world, confident that their parents are there for them, we tackle our duties with the confidence that our soul mate has our back.
What do They say About Our Blog and podcast?
Blog & Podcast Testimonials
"The Thriving Your Love Podcast helped me with a problem I faced this weekend. It helped me to stay grounded, calm, and heart-centered."
Are you Hungry for Change?
Let's Connect
Tricia Kim Walsh, LMFT 51889
triciawalshlmft@gmail.com | (925) 952-5835
www.triciakimwalshlmft.com
Location:
4279 Piedmont Ave Ste 2
Oakland, CA 94611
Telehealth:
Zoom
The following are our professional connections:
Couples Recovery Center
Affair Recovery Center
Christian Counseling Center
Northern California Community for EFT
Claudio Vargas Silva, LMFT 82582
claudiosilva@gmail.com | (408) 658-8576
www.claudiotherapy.com
Location:
1510 Fashion Island Ste 110
San Mateo, CA 94404
Telehealth:
Zoom
QUICK LINKS
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